“Step Up and Execute”

When you make yourself available to God, He uses you. And He'll take you to the edges of yourself if you let Him. So I'm learning another lesson. And although my roommates have unique taste in movies sometimes, it happened to reinforce my lesson tonight.

I was realizing a few weeks ago as I was getting ready to play bass at Cru that for all the time we spend practicing and picking songs and setting up and tearing down, it really all comes down to twenty short minutes of playing. There are no “overs”, no “mulligans”. If I play badly, there is no opportunity to be like “Sorry guys, I wasn't pay attention. Let me try that again.” Nope – you get one shot, and that's all.

It's the same with school. I have less than two weeks until graduation, and my status/GPA at graduation will depend on how I finish out the semester. There will be no second chances. My grades will be what they are. I can't change the past, but soon my entire undergrad education will be “the past”. I have one senior semester, and one set of finals left. One.

Last week, Pastor Jay was speaking on taking risks. How we will never accomplish anything if we don't step up and step out. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”, and all that. Our church will never reach our goals by sitting still, or even by maintaining the status quo. We have to intentionally go where God is calling us. Yes, we will fail. No, not everything we touch will succeed. But _nothing_ will succeed if we don't try.

How does this relate to a movie? OK, so the movie is really cheesy, but it amused me. We watched Disney's “Enchanted” tonight. It's a juxtaposition of fairy tales vs. the “real world”. A lead character comes to New York from “fantasy-land”, and doesn't believe that all the complications we add to life are necessary. “If you love someone, why not tell them so with everything you do?” Cliché Disney movie stuff, but the point remains.

How long will we sit in our chairs, at our computers, at our desks and do nothing? How many times will we practice for something, but not perform to our best when the object of our practice comes? How many times will I make excuses at work for being behind schedule instead of working hard and extra hours to finish stuff?

“Train the way you compete, and you'll compete the way you trained.” This was a common mantra when I was in competitive shooting. The point was to take your practice seriously. Not so seriously that you were devastated by a poor shot, but serious enough that every shot counted. That _every_ shot was aimed for a perfect bullseye. Every one. Not most, not some. Every one.

What would it look like if we stopped complaining about stuff and worked on fixing it? Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If “someone” ought to do something, why not you? Why not now?

Speaking of standing up and executing, I've decided to pursue a bass gig elsewhere with the decline of usual scheduled gigs. I could just talk about playing bass, jam with a few people when they have time. Or I could pro-actively seek opportunities. Opportunities to go and meet people, to tell them about why and how I've learned bass. Why I enjoy playing worship, and Who it's for. Today I sent out a handful of emails to various bands seeking bassists on Craigslist. No responses yet, but we'll see what happens. I may be in way over my head. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm going in over my head. I'll probably fail, too. But that's OK, because God will be there to catch me, just as He has been every other time.

Sorry if I'm on a tear tonight, but I'm also learning about not tip-toeing around what I perceive to be offensive to others. There will always be people who don't like me. Their problem, not mine...I can only be who God is molding me to be.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have email to write. To write now, because procrastinating doesn't accomplish anything.

Stories, Music, and a little "Beat Beat Pound"

A few weeks ago, an old friend of mine spoke at Cru. After completing her undergraduate education last May, she spent the summer learning about people and God and herself in the outdoors. The point of Lindsey's talk was that the important things in life are stories and relationships. As an illustration, she asked "What is at the center of the universe?" The "good Christian kids" said God, while the incurable nerds posited that it depended on how you chose the coordinate system. Lindsey instead suggested that the universe centers around relationship, showing a diagram with the three members of the Trinity at the corners of an equilateral triangle, and lines showing relationship all going through the center, marked simply "God".

Here's a story. It's not mine this time, but rather someone from my church. As typically expected of young people, after finishing college, she started work. It seems, though, that she felt called to something else. Being musically talented, she decided that she wanted a career in music instead. Andrea quit her job, and started working for herself as a singer/songwriter. After recruiting band members, she started opening for other people. I saw quite a few emails/Facebooks for "...opens for So-and-So...please come!"

The same night, I was able to attend Andrea's CD release party at a little bar downtown. With the frenetic pace of my life, it is rare that I have an evening to sit and relax any more. Tonight I was able to hang out with a few friends, hear some great music (three bands for a cover charge...not half bad!), and just think.

Facebook is always an interesting window into people's lives. When people take the time to distill their personality, habits, and other stuff into a few short sentences, they seem to have two outcomes. Usually they give a very rough approximation (unhelpful, not useful), but once in a while something neat emerges. So it is with a friend of mine. Long ago and far away, my family and her family went to church together. Since then, our lives have taken different paths, but I stay loosely in touch.

In the "Favorite Music" section, after a short list of genres, my friend mentioned rap and hip-hop. Recognizing that as slightly out of character, I kept reading. While I forget the exact wording, she discerned that music tells stories. They may be nice stories, or they may be ugly stories. Sometimes we don't see them as stories at all, but there are stories nonetheless. In this case, rap and hip-hop generally tell stories less than pretty.

A couple months ago, I started learning the bass guitar to add variety to my life. I didn't know a) how much learning I had to do or b) the life lessons I was to learn by playing bass. So it turns out that especially for a beginner, bass solo is boring to listen to. Thankfully, a couple of my roommates play acoustic guitar, which helps. While jamming with my friend Josh, he made a statement that would enlarge my perspective. We were talking about playing music and listening to other people play when he simply said "You know, music is meant to be collaborative. It's not meant to be just for you."

Let me add yet another twist to the puzzle. In church, I've been getting more involved in my small group. A few weeks ago, we spent small group time sharing testimonies. Why? Because stories are for sharing. Jesus used stories, calling them parables. We are still learning from them today. Stories are not for repeating to yourself. They are for sharing. Like music!

Last summer, I got a random phone call from another church friend. The voicemail I get from Mike says "Hey man. Do you like rock concerts? My friend's in a band, and they're coming to town tonight. We can get free tickets. Want to go?" Well, I like most rock. Classic rock and some modern rock is probably near the top of my favorite music list.

What I didn't know was that what Mike called "rock" was more like "screamo"...somewhere more emo than punk. And for some reason, most of the bands I go see feel that copious profanity adds color to their performance. So we're watching some dude with longish hair and girl pants screaming into a mike about something or other. Part of me wanted to laugh at just how weird/bad the music seemed. The higher-level part of me saw through the yelling and the posing and saw courage and sensitivity. The kids on stage, as different as their music might be and as angry as they might seem, had enough courage to get up in front of a bunch of strangers and dump out their feelings.

How many church-going people would feel comfortable sharing their deep emotions like that even with their friends? And how can you judge that the kid screaming from the stage is farther from God than the churchgoer who merely puts up a pretty front at church? Jesus' label of "white-washed sepulchers" may not seem so far off-target after all.

Some people tend to be a little bit snobbish about their music. "Classical and hymns!" was a popular cry in a church I used to attend. It seemed like electric guitar was contemptible to a classical guitar player I used to know. (distortion or effects were over-the-top in case you were wondering) It always subliminally annoyed me. I finally realized that it annoyed me because their discrimination easily translated into a similar thing with people: that some people were worth listening to while others weren't. I believe this statement to be patently false. You may not prefer some styles. You may not prefer a lot of musical styles. Some music even seems to have no redeeming value. But still, it's someone telling a story.

Ever known people who like to talk to you, but are just annoying? Maybe I'm someone like that to you, who knows. Nevertheless, God loves them like He loves you. By the same token, some music doesn't do much for me, I must admit. Nevertheless, the music still has a story to tell that some people will appreciate. I think it's unfair to shut someone down and criticize them as a person for being "a different style" than you.

One last similarity, then I promise that I'll stop. :-)

When I was younger, I was a prolific reader. The library was my friend, and hundreds of pages per week was easy to read. I've had the opportunity to read a wide spectrum of books and magazines, from classic novels (Les Miserables, Tale of Two Cities, etc.) to current fiction (Harry Potter was my companion this last Christmas break), and so on.

Some claim that the average creativity and musical skill has declined. Supposedly, classical music was the best music ever made, and everything since has been degrading. I would make the same claim about literature. I think that current writing is less well done than in the past. However, all the classical composers and authors are dead. They're long gone. (and if you stand over Beethoven's grave, it's said that you can hear his 5th symphony playing backwards...his body is decomposing) Are we so habit-bound and closed-minded that we would ignore what is currently being made, in song and in word, for that which is just handed down to us? Will you ignore the up-and-coming writers that work on the school newspaper and the singer/songwriter at the open mike down the street because they aren't a great name? Will you stifle their progress with no encouragement, reducing their chances of future greatness for your own comfort and unwillingness to try something new?

So make your own music and write your own words. "We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams", as quoth by O'Shaughnessy in his "Ode". Support your local musician, read a new book. And lest you think I'm talking without the walking, as my time frees up after school, I'm trying to find a regular bass gig. I've also started learning acoustic guitar, just for a change. And I'm writing this so you can read it.

(obligatory plug) If you want somewhere to start, check out:
Andrea Ball http://www.myspace.com/ballandrea
Josh Wilson http://joshwilson.org
Josh Holloran http://www.myspace.com/joshholloranmusic

Bass Lessons

I've been humbled this week. Music is starting to be a good tool for learning about God and about life.

Last Sunday, I found out that I would be playing for a young adult service tonight. Of course it's an extended set - over an hour of worship total...slightly different than my normal Cru sets of 20 minutes. :-) Seeing this as my opportunity to "impress people", I've practiced diligently, almost every night. Worship at my church has been a goal of mine since I started playing bass.

Wednesdays are Cru worship practice, and it was fun (as usual). The next day, I was getting ready to practice bass, and was deciding what to play. The thought that went through my head was "Well, I've gotten this Cru worship thing figured out pretty well. I don't really need to practice that, I'll just sorta 'wing it'." (and I did practice, but only other music) Yeah, so pride goes before a fall - a little pride, a little fall. I know my expectations for myself are rising, but I was still disappointed in how I played. I think my worship set this Thursday was one of the worse sets I've played in some time. And mostly because I thought I was all that, and could get away with very little practice. It gets better, though. After Cru, more people than usual came up to me and said that worship and particularly bass sounded really good.

You would think I would learn. But, no, I'm kinda slow on the uptake. So God has to teach me again. Saturday comes, and I know I've got this set down. There's a lot of songs, some of which I don't know very well, but I've practiced them like crazy. I've even figured out places where I can fill in extra notes that sound pretty good. I kinda figured that I was provisionally playing based on how the immediately preceding practice goes, so I play well. Not perfect, but definitely well. Julia (the worship leader tonight) says I sound good, and I'm good to go.

The first set goes well. The monitors are set up so that I can hear everything I need to, and even I know it sounds good. The attendance is much smaller than a normal Cru meeting, but that's OK. I play because I want to and because it worships God. Then the second set starts, and suddenly stuff is different. Feedback in the PA, monitor levels are different, and I can tell it's rattling Julia. I know what's wrong and how to fix it, but that requires me to be in the sound booth, not up front strapped into a bass guitar. The second set is half as long as the first, and I know what I'm doing, but it's just not as cool. And of course, this is when a guitar-playing friend of mine gets to church, so he doesn't hear me really at all. So much for "impressing people". I was a little bummed when the set ended, because I knew I was capable of better. Then I overheard one of the leaders talking to the worship leader, and saying that worship was great and people were meeting Jesus.

Moral of the story: Kenton needs to always watch his priorities. Do I play to play, or do I play for attention/praise? The first is fine, but the second will quickly lead me astray. Every time. Twice in a week if I'm not paying attention.

And that's all for now.