Monday, December 17, 2012

Moving, "No", and "One"

My life for the last couple weeks has been about moving.

Moving furniture to support my continuing home renovation.
"Moving pieces" as I continue to define and refine goals in my life.
Moving targets as circumstances and schedules change beyond my control.
Moving myself, as I've been doing a notably-increased amount of dance as I expand my own boundaries and our team pushes to finish a routine.
I even moved desks at work to support a minor re-organization.  You know, just to add a little extra chaos.

At work, I've seen myself spend more time than usual in the anechoic chambers.  Firstly, my work has been centered there.  Secondly, neither the chamber itself or the control room is a place people will immediately look for me for "urgent" (usually trivial) needs.  Lastly, however, in the actual chamber, even if I'm being clamored at, the sound is deadened just a bit, providing some small respite from the continual aural and emotional onslaught of the last few weeks.

I'm tired of moving.  I want to sit still if only for a day.  I can tell that my life is slowly becoming more unbalanced.  Like sand trickling through an hourglass, the occurrences of life both everyday and unusual are building up.  Work fatigue, long days and short nights, it all adds up.  This weekend was intended as a re-balancing time and partly successful, but only partly.  Chaos must be traded off against tranquility and soon or my performance and personal satisfaction will start to suffer.

------

In the meantime, my life has become defined by a few simple mantras.  Small kernels of truth, these sentiments seem to keep my life together.

The "No's":
- No Shortcuts.  Anything other than the right path leads to destruction.  Anything promising a shortcut is "off the right path"
- No Regrets.  Live so that I can live with yourself every night and not have to make any more amends.  Amends are hard.
- No Re-Runs.  Life is short and every moment precious.  Enjoy it while it's here.  Enjoy it because it'll be gone forever after this. 

The "Ones":
- One Day.  You can't change yesterday, you can't fix tomorrow.  Live in this day.
- One Decision.  "It's hard to steer a parked car" - my father.  Sometimes the avalanche of decisions is overwhelming.  I can't decide them all.  But I can decide one thing and sometimes making the right decision isn't as important as making a decision.
- One Step.  "When you're going through hell, keep going!"  I can't always see the end, but I can shuffle just a bit.  The best way to succeed is to start, then just to keep on.  So far, I've survived.  Reckon I can take a few more steps.

And so my world turns, one revolution after another.  I can't complain, but I can't say it's exactly my dream either...

Labels:

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home