Lessons Learned
[It's quiet around here; sad day. I have a lot of half-finished writings, but they're just that; half-finished. Looks like I'll be spending some time polishing those this week.
In other news, I'm coming up on 100 entries. I had no idea I'd write this much when I started six years ago. Such a milestone ought to get some special treatment. Any suggestions?]
In the original tradition of "In Statu Pupillari", last week taught me a couple interesting things that I wanted to share. Unlike the recent tradition, I'm not writing a thousand-word epic to describe either of them.
First of all, God reminded me how I still need to work on trusting him and continuing to trust him. With what feels like a lot of the big stuff in my life squared away and progressing steadily, it gives me time to work on some of the small stuff in my life. Not wanting to derail my life due to avoidable debris on the tracks, I've been talking to God as I walk through some of my everyday decisions. I've also been making a habit of giving my day to God when I roll out of bed. Surprise surprise, turns out He can usually run my life better than I can.
In one recent case, I'd set up a simple go/no-go decision. As a part of walking and trusting, I'm learning that I can either worry a decision over and over, or I could just trust my decisions to God (as well as my days) and let Him drive. Sometimes setting tests can be fraught with risk, but I didn't want to ponder any more, so I set God an ultimatum - if A then B, if "not A" then C. I can't really say that I had a desired outcome chosen. I just wanted to have a chosen path.
As He often does, God answered me. His answer was mostly "wait" with an added scoop of "no". Then, being the human I am, I got mad! That's not the answer I wanted, God, even though I didn't really have a favorite answer before. How immature was that? First I don't care and I say I trust completely, then when I get the answer I asked for (because I asked without expectation), I'm disappointed that I got what I wanted. Sheesh. No wonder God doesn't always answer me if I'm going to respond like that.
I had a teaching moment at the climbing gym on Wednesday. As I get comfortable on the easy bouldering problems, I've begun looking for slightly more challenging problems. There appears to only be two ways of making problems harder - move the holds farther apart or make the holds smaller. I don't have the finger strength to use the smaller holds so I've been studying the "holds farther apart" problems a bit. My new favorite problem has a couple easy moves (moving a foot or a hand) then one big step before the other moves.
The human body is about as wide fingertip-to-fingertip as it is tall (head to toe), so I can reach about 6 feet at a static reach. While supporting my weight, that number decreases dramatically. Most of the easy routes place my limbs approximately forward of my shoulders/hips, with the farther holds maybe 6-12 inches outside of my body. This problem has a move with the hold probably 2 1/2 feet from my body centerline - almost to the limits of my extension. I'm used to being able to move on the wall at my leisure, but this one requires a purposeful swing. Any halfhearted effort will fall short, stranding you on the previous holds. At my climbing friends' encouragement, I quickly figured out that a quite vigorous swing would get me all the way to the new hold. Something on the order of "ONE...TWO...THREE...Swing!"
I also quickly found out that if I did it right, I could get to the new hold, but if for some reason I missed my grab, I was unlikely to retain enough traction on the previous holds to catch myself as my momentum returned. After the first attempt, my mental visualization became "Swing hard enough to get there, but realize if you miss, you're coming off the wall!" The "coming off the wall" part did indeed happen a couple times. Seeing as my feet weren't far off the ground and the floor is heavily padded, it's not a big deal. However, the sequence of "swing......oh shoot...plop" happened a few times.
The only way to finish that route is to commit wholeheartedly to it. Half measures will only land you back on your rear on the floor. Commitment -there's a serious life lesson. How many things in life are similar, requiring you to fully buy-in to see any positive outcome? Where pursuing something half-cooked will only strand you in limbo?
As I pondered this more, I was realizing how my prayer life/trust walk with God was like my bouldering problem. I set up the decision and got all the way to its crux or hard part. Then when God didn't totally toe the line I unconsciously set, I bailed. That's not the way my life should be, and I think I've learned better now. The moral: talk to God and understand your choices, ask for counsel, but then commit wholeheartedly to whatever He gives me.
So here we go back again
Slow climb but quick to descend
Arms out, arms out
Turn into the spin
It's lovely and brief
With just gravity and me
And if we choose to fall
Who's to say it isn't flight
- Dessa, "Into The Spin"
In other news, I'm coming up on 100 entries. I had no idea I'd write this much when I started six years ago. Such a milestone ought to get some special treatment. Any suggestions?]
In the original tradition of "In Statu Pupillari", last week taught me a couple interesting things that I wanted to share. Unlike the recent tradition, I'm not writing a thousand-word epic to describe either of them.
First of all, God reminded me how I still need to work on trusting him and continuing to trust him. With what feels like a lot of the big stuff in my life squared away and progressing steadily, it gives me time to work on some of the small stuff in my life. Not wanting to derail my life due to avoidable debris on the tracks, I've been talking to God as I walk through some of my everyday decisions. I've also been making a habit of giving my day to God when I roll out of bed. Surprise surprise, turns out He can usually run my life better than I can.
In one recent case, I'd set up a simple go/no-go decision. As a part of walking and trusting, I'm learning that I can either worry a decision over and over, or I could just trust my decisions to God (as well as my days) and let Him drive. Sometimes setting tests can be fraught with risk, but I didn't want to ponder any more, so I set God an ultimatum - if A then B, if "not A" then C. I can't really say that I had a desired outcome chosen. I just wanted to have a chosen path.
As He often does, God answered me. His answer was mostly "wait" with an added scoop of "no". Then, being the human I am, I got mad! That's not the answer I wanted, God, even though I didn't really have a favorite answer before. How immature was that? First I don't care and I say I trust completely, then when I get the answer I asked for (because I asked without expectation), I'm disappointed that I got what I wanted. Sheesh. No wonder God doesn't always answer me if I'm going to respond like that.
I had a teaching moment at the climbing gym on Wednesday. As I get comfortable on the easy bouldering problems, I've begun looking for slightly more challenging problems. There appears to only be two ways of making problems harder - move the holds farther apart or make the holds smaller. I don't have the finger strength to use the smaller holds so I've been studying the "holds farther apart" problems a bit. My new favorite problem has a couple easy moves (moving a foot or a hand) then one big step before the other moves.
The human body is about as wide fingertip-to-fingertip as it is tall (head to toe), so I can reach about 6 feet at a static reach. While supporting my weight, that number decreases dramatically. Most of the easy routes place my limbs approximately forward of my shoulders/hips, with the farther holds maybe 6-12 inches outside of my body. This problem has a move with the hold probably 2 1/2 feet from my body centerline - almost to the limits of my extension. I'm used to being able to move on the wall at my leisure, but this one requires a purposeful swing. Any halfhearted effort will fall short, stranding you on the previous holds. At my climbing friends' encouragement, I quickly figured out that a quite vigorous swing would get me all the way to the new hold. Something on the order of "ONE...TWO...THREE...Swing!"
I also quickly found out that if I did it right, I could get to the new hold, but if for some reason I missed my grab, I was unlikely to retain enough traction on the previous holds to catch myself as my momentum returned. After the first attempt, my mental visualization became "Swing hard enough to get there, but realize if you miss, you're coming off the wall!" The "coming off the wall" part did indeed happen a couple times. Seeing as my feet weren't far off the ground and the floor is heavily padded, it's not a big deal. However, the sequence of "swing...
The only way to finish that route is to commit wholeheartedly to it. Half measures will only land you back on your rear on the floor. Commitment -there's a serious life lesson. How many things in life are similar, requiring you to fully buy-in to see any positive outcome? Where pursuing something half-cooked will only strand you in limbo?
As I pondered this more, I was realizing how my prayer life/trust walk with God was like my bouldering problem. I set up the decision and got all the way to its crux or hard part. Then when God didn't totally toe the line I unconsciously set, I bailed. That's not the way my life should be, and I think I've learned better now. The moral: talk to God and understand your choices, ask for counsel, but then commit wholeheartedly to whatever He gives me.
So here we go back again
Slow climb but quick to descend
Arms out, arms out
Turn into the spin
It's lovely and brief
With just gravity and me
And if we choose to fall
Who's to say it isn't flight
- Dessa, "Into The Spin"
Labels: life
posted by The student of life at 11:05 PM
1 Comments:
wow, for some reason this blog really hit me, not in a light bulb way, but more of a tap on the shoulder way.
Lately I have been debating internally between my personal "strength" of liking everything planned out, and my desire to "swing" with God. I feel like I'm sitting on the hand holds, looking at the next one that requires a swing and I'm debating whether to go for it. I like my spot on the wall, but then there's that one. I don't have any specific topics/situations that I'm jumping for, just life in general. I think it is similar to your connection to the spiritual aspect, but more diffuse. *shrug* anyways, thanks for once again giving me something to ponder.
Also, I like that last line, "If we choose to fall, who's to say it isn't flight?" ("that's not flying, that's falling with style!") Perhaps in the falling we really are flying.
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