Music Fast
My Facebook status on Monday night loudly proclaimed that I was “chasing demons with loud music.” As I argued with God about the chaos in my head, my environment reverberated with music that reflected my inner tumult. According to the neighbors, it got a little loud, with lyrics still distinct outside. Oops...my mind was loud so the music had to be louder. There was no possible way it would be a night for “nice” tranquil music. No, not at all. Instead, it started with Savatage, with In Flames, Killswitch Engage, and Children of Bodom queued up next. All heavy, all pretty angry, and all awesome.
After finishing my scheduled task, I decided to lean on my friends a bit to get some Godly perspective on my life. And punched in more heavy music, this time Epica. Out of nowhere, the lyrics smacked me upside the head and I thought that it might at last be a time God had chosen to speak into my life.
I have this great friend (name omitted to protect the innocent). He has a great love for God and the faith of a child. One of the things I really value in my friend is how when God calls His name, he doesn't question or ponder, he just moves. My friend was relating a story about how God (through a friend) challenged him about possibly valuing a major (harmless) part of his life ahead of worshiping God. Rather than justify or deny, my friend just said “OK, I'll dump it. Because nothing can be more important than God.” Words to live by.
Part of my friend's counsel was to continue my walk with God, then push one step farther towards Him. I was considering how that would look when God reminded me of a semester in college where I wanted to be super sure that I was following Him closely. As a method of widening my comfort zone and challenging myself in my walk with God, I skipped a couple meals twice a week. Without digressing into theology, I'll just say that if you claim to follow Jesus and have never fasted, you gotta try it. It's like the automatic little-effort reminder to pray (driven by the growling) and makes food taste so much better at the end. Of course, there was also the dark side as I started having difficulty focusing in classes or on homework and was pretty much a monster looking to take peoples' heads off by about 4 PM. Needless to say, the fasts stopped at the end of the semester, and as I considered a typical workday, it didn't seem to fit in my life today.
Even as I was trying to straighten my life out by talking to my friends and listening to music at “appropriate volumes” (because rock and metal do have an appropriate level...way up there), I heard God subtly say in my ear, “I haven't said anything because you weren't listening. You've been filling your ears with voices and tunes and not leaving any room for me.” ...I hate when God calls it the way it is sometimes.
This morning, I rolled out of bed already planning what great music I was going to listen to today at work. Although some find constant aural stimulation distracting, I find that (within reason) it focuses me and reduces my tendency towards distraction. I was already cueing (and queuing) albums in my head when last night's brief discussion with God about fasting came back. So in my best Zach imitation, I didn't question but purposed that today would be a music fast. Since silence would adversely affect my productivity (kind of like completely skipping meals), I decided on the “non-nutritious juice fast” version, limiting myself to Christian music all day.
Music makes my life worth living. It's ingrained in my soul deeper than almost anything else. An old friend used to have a Facebook quote: “Why do I dance? Why do I breathe?” Said friend never seemed to be on the floor much, but music really is like breathing to me. Natural, constant, and necessary. So a music fast promised to be nearly equivalent to a food fast, except with less preparation and less “ripping heads off”.
Yes, I said “non-nutritious” above. Sorry if I offend, but it seems that “Christian” is sometimes just a synonym for “couldn't compete in the real world”, particularly when it comes to music. I have my favorite artists that see play alongside my “secular” preferences (Disciple, Skillet, and Hillsong come immediately to mind, with others following soon after), but most of the radio-friendly CCM just isn't that good and definitely isn't my style.
I did try to briefly negotiate God into “Christian and instrumental music” to include the latest couple Nightwish albums (which came with a B-side of instrumental mixes), but then remembered that I was supposed to be following, not negotiating. If nothing else, I figured that the deprivation would make me appreciate “the good stuff” at the end of the day.
And so it began. About three-fourths of the way to work, the radio got turned off when I had my fill of “family-friendly” tasteless pablum and I took refuge in my own interesting thoughts until I could get to work and resume a healthy intake. (Disciple's “Horseshoes and Handgrenades” won the day from the beginning.) Work was pretty scattered today, but I was content with my entertainment choices. Of course, tonight was the night I was supposed to meet someone after work and do lots of driving. Like my food fasts used to be, I figured I'd be done when I got home, but home was so far away tonight.
I did survive, though, and learned some things. First of all, God does honor following him, even in small “silly” ways. I don't know yet what I've attained through today's exercise, but it may well just be an increased readiness to listen and obey next time. Second, Christian radio is really that bad. I had forgotten. I think I heard 2 good songs across three stations in over an hour of driving. Third, although I like Disciple and Skillet, yes, Nightwish is still better.
Following God, even in minor things. That's a reasonable lesson to learn.
After finishing my scheduled task, I decided to lean on my friends a bit to get some Godly perspective on my life. And punched in more heavy music, this time Epica. Out of nowhere, the lyrics smacked me upside the head and I thought that it might at last be a time God had chosen to speak into my life.
I have this great friend (name omitted to protect the innocent). He has a great love for God and the faith of a child. One of the things I really value in my friend is how when God calls His name, he doesn't question or ponder, he just moves. My friend was relating a story about how God (through a friend) challenged him about possibly valuing a major (harmless) part of his life ahead of worshiping God. Rather than justify or deny, my friend just said “OK, I'll dump it. Because nothing can be more important than God.” Words to live by.
Part of my friend's counsel was to continue my walk with God, then push one step farther towards Him. I was considering how that would look when God reminded me of a semester in college where I wanted to be super sure that I was following Him closely. As a method of widening my comfort zone and challenging myself in my walk with God, I skipped a couple meals twice a week. Without digressing into theology, I'll just say that if you claim to follow Jesus and have never fasted, you gotta try it. It's like the automatic little-effort reminder to pray (driven by the growling) and makes food taste so much better at the end. Of course, there was also the dark side as I started having difficulty focusing in classes or on homework and was pretty much a monster looking to take peoples' heads off by about 4 PM. Needless to say, the fasts stopped at the end of the semester, and as I considered a typical workday, it didn't seem to fit in my life today.
Even as I was trying to straighten my life out by talking to my friends and listening to music at “appropriate volumes” (because rock and metal do have an appropriate level...way up there), I heard God subtly say in my ear, “I haven't said anything because you weren't listening. You've been filling your ears with voices and tunes and not leaving any room for me.” ...I hate when God calls it the way it is sometimes.
This morning, I rolled out of bed already planning what great music I was going to listen to today at work. Although some find constant aural stimulation distracting, I find that (within reason) it focuses me and reduces my tendency towards distraction. I was already cueing (and queuing) albums in my head when last night's brief discussion with God about fasting came back. So in my best Zach imitation, I didn't question but purposed that today would be a music fast. Since silence would adversely affect my productivity (kind of like completely skipping meals), I decided on the “non-nutritious juice fast” version, limiting myself to Christian music all day.
Music makes my life worth living. It's ingrained in my soul deeper than almost anything else. An old friend used to have a Facebook quote: “Why do I dance? Why do I breathe?” Said friend never seemed to be on the floor much, but music really is like breathing to me. Natural, constant, and necessary. So a music fast promised to be nearly equivalent to a food fast, except with less preparation and less “ripping heads off”.
Yes, I said “non-nutritious” above. Sorry if I offend, but it seems that “Christian” is sometimes just a synonym for “couldn't compete in the real world”, particularly when it comes to music. I have my favorite artists that see play alongside my “secular” preferences (Disciple, Skillet, and Hillsong come immediately to mind, with others following soon after), but most of the radio-friendly CCM just isn't that good and definitely isn't my style.
I did try to briefly negotiate God into “Christian and instrumental music” to include the latest couple Nightwish albums (which came with a B-side of instrumental mixes), but then remembered that I was supposed to be following, not negotiating. If nothing else, I figured that the deprivation would make me appreciate “the good stuff” at the end of the day.
And so it began. About three-fourths of the way to work, the radio got turned off when I had my fill of “family-friendly” tasteless pablum and I took refuge in my own interesting thoughts until I could get to work and resume a healthy intake. (Disciple's “Horseshoes and Handgrenades” won the day from the beginning.) Work was pretty scattered today, but I was content with my entertainment choices. Of course, tonight was the night I was supposed to meet someone after work and do lots of driving. Like my food fasts used to be, I figured I'd be done when I got home, but home was so far away tonight.
I did survive, though, and learned some things. First of all, God does honor following him, even in small “silly” ways. I don't know yet what I've attained through today's exercise, but it may well just be an increased readiness to listen and obey next time. Second, Christian radio is really that bad. I had forgotten. I think I heard 2 good songs across three stations in over an hour of driving. Third, although I like Disciple and Skillet, yes, Nightwish is still better.
Following God, even in minor things. That's a reasonable lesson to learn.
posted by The student of life at 10:48 PM
3 Comments:
Yes, it is that bad, particularly if, like you, one favors harder music. I like music with strange themes and unusual words, so most Christian music is not my style either.
As for music being "ingrained in your soul deeper than almost anything else," I most certainly understand that feeling.
Very interesting blog man. The first one I have read that has prompted me to actually formulate a written response.
Christian Music... I dont know where to start. I like Disciple A-freekin-lot, they have just enough edge to them to keep my attention. As for everything else, meh. Mentally, thats pretty much the same response in my mind when I am at Church(on those super-rare, hell freezing over occasions). I get it, praise God and all that, cool. Not my style to listen to though.
I have found though, with much of the music I listen to(too many band names to list), I find meaning and feeling within it. Generally speaking, most musicians I listen to have some sort of spiritual/emotional crap they are working out, and it connects with me. Thats probably the reason I am such a Nightwish fanatic.
Also though, I have always been attracted to instrumental music, of ALL genres. Be it anything from 'classical' (I hate that term), to Joe Satriani. The lack of lyrics makes it simple enough, but the raw emotion invoked from the beauty of the music is something you wont find anywhere else.
You know me, music is deep in my soul. It always has been.
One of my favorite posts so far (I'm way behind), Kenton. Maybe because so much resonated in my own heart. I do love A LOT of CCM but sometimes it's just fun to listen to oldies (hey, that's what i am ; ) ). Still, it needs to be balanced with making sure the messages I am constantly filling my mind with aren't usurping the truth of the gospel. I like music. I like loud music. I like loud secular music. But I LOVE my Lord and want to make sure that the loud, secular music that sometimes causes my teens to lecture me never, ever interferes with the truth I need to live out. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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