My RMGA Lesson: The Set-Up

Finally at RMGA, I "got" a lesson that God has been trying to teach me for more than 2 years. If I would have only listened 2 years ago, I could have saved myself an immeasurable amount of strife and heartache in the intervening time.

I guess the "present day" part of this story starts at the Crusade meeting Thursday night before RMGA (September 28). John Compton was giving part of his testimony about what God has taught him here at Mines. He spoke for about 20 minutes, and I don't have the kind of attention span or desire to retype it, so I will summarize. I may be confusing some details, so please bear with me.

John talked about how when he first came to Mines, he sought acceptance from people more than from God. Because he lived around non-Christians, the only models he saw were secular guy-girl relationships . He spend the first semester or two chasing girls, leading to only discontentment and bitterness. Near the end of the year, one of the other Campus Crusade men talked John into going on Summer Project, a Crusade-sponsored mission trip. Chris and John were the only two Mines students on that particular Project, and spent a lot of time together.

Over the summer and into the school year, John learned the true meaning of Godly fellowship, and that it was not to be found in indiscriminate relationships with young ladies. (Sorry, I'm too lazy to generalize everything to non-gender-specific nouns this time.) Chris ended up drawing John much closer to God, encouraging him along his walk.

The take-home message of the night was to pray that God would bring into your life a brother (or sister) who could provide encouragement and accountability. I wasn't too sure what I should make of this point. I miss my friends in the past with whom I've been able to share both struggles and successes. In every case, our lives drifted apart, and I've had to move on. Besides, I wasn't sure if there was anyone out there who shared my life goals.

Time warp: Last year, at the Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship Fall Conference in Winter Park, I was spending some "quality time" with God and His Word. It happened to be between midnight and 2:00 am, but I guess that sort of thing happens when you're a college student. After wrestling in prayer for a while, I started writing. The original journal entry that I wrote sits on my desk to remind me of a time when God reached through the dirt entangled in my life to touch my heart. Pulling it out again, I marvel both at the content (God is amazing in what He can show you) and the format (The handwriting is large and angry, with occasional impressive scribbles.) You don't want to read all that I wrote, but I would like to include some excerpts. Editing is for brevity and clarity.

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"Oh Lord, today I realize what I'm looking for...True good friends are hard to come by, and I often look for someone to share my life experiences with. Away from my UNC friends with no apparent substitute, I forget that I can always turn to you...Lord, almost every Fall Conference has had its benefit reduced by playing stupid "little tree games". Little tree games looking for little tree leaves...Lord, take this away. It will hurt, I know, but it hurts already, and there is no other way to fix it. Lord, keep me focused on Your plan for me, not my fantasy for me. I have been given some great opportunities in my life. I have missed some because I was too busy with my stupid little tree games...Lord, forgive me for my misplaced priorities. I claim to be too busy for church and Bible study, yet I spend an inordinate amount of time on entertainment...Lord, you've given me so many cool friends...but when I get caught up in my little tree games, I miss what I could have learned for what I shouldn't want and [can't have]..."

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The messages that weekend were on Luke 13, the parable of the barren fig tree. The reference to "little tree games" and "little tree leaves" refers to the barren tree having leaves rather than fruit. We are to God a little like the gardener is to the tree. Imagine what the tree thought of itself. It could have been proud of its looks, its showy outsides, when in reality it was without fruit and worthless. I was looking for "little tree leaves" - outside things that I thought would make me happy.

In response to my prayer, God showed me a scripture from Isaiah chapter 55.

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Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest fare. (v2-3, NKJV)

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In other words, don't chase what will never satisfy you. Come see what God has for you, which is free and the best possible.

Near the end of last year, I didn't seem to have any friends who would encourage me in God the way I wanted. In an email discussion with a friend, I wondered:

I know that I should be a good example to others, but who's going to be the example for me? And even if not an example to me, who is there that is around my level of spiritual maturity? Not too many. I fought that sentence a bit; "spiritual maturity" is not the concept I want, but I don't have a phrase for what I want. We all have our strong and weak areas, and I'll be the first to admit that I'm a messed up person inside. But I am saved by the blood of Jesus and I strive to keep my life pure.

An analogy, if you will. Clean water can be mixed with dirty water to make more water that's less dirty. But can you mix dirty water with dirtier water and expect it to come out cleaner? Not without violating the First and Second laws of Thermodynamics. That's why we have to be cleaned by spending time with God.

Well, at least I mentioned spending time with God. Maybe that counts for "good points". :-) My friend Sarah responded with a wise statement:

I'm no expert on the issue, or anything close to it. However, I do have another analogy to offer you, though. Rather than thinking of it like dirty water, think of it like darkness and light. No matter how much "dark" you add, the source of light will continue to light it! Jesus says we're the light of the world, and elsewhere that he is the light. To me that means that if we're spending time with him, we don't have to be scared of being "darkened" by what's around us, we can be in the world and not of it. I know that can be taken way too far. It's a hard line to find and a harder one to maintain. But I believe there are also some real dangers in the "I cannot be unadulterated; I must protect myself" mentality. I would just encourage you to pray about this matter. And I will be praying that God brings some fellowship your way, too.

From one cause or another, my walk with God really stagnated last year. I made it to one Crusade meeting near the beginning of the year, but I wasn't impressed (I didn't see what I was looking for, whatever that was) and didn't go back. I was working weekends, and so couldn't go to church. Between when school started in August and when school finished in May, I made it to church 5 times. Pretty impressive, huh? I made it to IV Bible Study fairly regularly, and thought that was sufficient, but it wasn't what I needed. I'm not sure exactly why, but I know I didn't learn much.

To be continued next post...